Ok, yes, this may be a controversial opinion, but hear me out. It’s not inherently bad to have a boyfriend or to want a boyfriend. But it feels like nowadays, being single is being reclaimed from a time when it was thought to be embarrassing. Even the girls I know with boyfriends will say things like, “men suck,” or “men aren’t worth the time or effort.” But why are we seeing this trend? Where did this shift come from?
I think the cultural shift away from a dependency on men or needing a relationship to make us happy is making the idea of a boyfriend “embarrassing.” We see women posting less and less about their partners on social media, almost as if they don’t want to show them off. Could it be because they want their relationship to be private, or they’re worried about superstition? Or could it be not wanting to be perceived as being “too much” with their boyfriend? I’m sure everyone can relate to always seeing that one friend who posts their boyfriend every chance they can get. It can get to the point of wanting to mute their story. If we wanted to see just pictures of your boyfriend, we would be following his account, not yours. And that’s what makes it embarrassing.
I also think that for a lot of girls, having a boyfriend messes with how others perceive them. Dare I say, it becomes “uncool” to have one. On social media apps like TikTok or Instagram, influencers refuse to announce whether they have a boyfriend, simply because they know their audience will have a negative reaction. If they’re caught with this boyfriend, it makes them less cool or relatable, and in the extreme case, “cringe.”
Men aren’t the achievement for us that they once were. It reminds me of when we were children, caught with the toy no one wanted to play with anymore. Men are becoming the thing we lock in the closet and throw away. It’s now socially acceptable to be single and not be ashamed of it. This is not to say that girls who are in relationships should be ashamed of their partner. But now, single girls can be comfortable in their singleness and know that it’s perfectly normal to be in that space.