Give Me Flatbread, or Give Me Death!
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly. As much as Ursinus students bemoan the lack of half-decent food […]
Articles by The Goofly
More Smoothie Machines Coming to Campus
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly. For months, Ursinus students have anticipated a big move by the […]
Myrin Airport Opening Soon
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly.The first floor of Myrin Library has been out of commission for most of […]
Ursinus College Awarded 5-million-dollar grant for hobby-horse stables.
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly.Last Friday, Ursinus College officially announced that it will be receiving a grant of […]
COLLEGE ANNOUNCES RECENT SALE TO AI OVERLORDS
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly.. Following a tumultuous year of financial troubles and instability at the college, President […]
Campo Officer has a Mishap with a Golf Cart Over Spring Break
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly. In this exclusive news piece, The Grizzly brings news about a […]
Top Prospect Taussig Enters Transfer Portal
The rain poured down, beating the windows of the Floy Lewis Bakes Center this past Sunday. It was a scene reflective of the feelings inside […]
Dear Celeste*
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly.Dear Celeste, My boyfriend wants me to go on vacation with his […]
Ursinus Scores Top Prospect*
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly. This past weekend, the Bears made history, acquiring their first ever […]
Ursinus Adds Hobby Horsing as New Varsity Sport*
*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly. Due to recent budget increases, Ursinus is one of the first […]