Fundamentals

Godel started with the basics to make sure that everyone understood the terminology, then explained the differences between sex and gender. He explained that gender is a social construct and may be different depending on your culture or the historical time you’re in, noting that in some cultures and times in history, men wear dresses, even though this is not common for men to do in our current culture. From there, she explained the binary gender model and how this model can be very constricting for a great deal of people who fall outside this construct. Godel also gave advice to supportive allies who want to make others comfortable but do not know the best way to go about it. He explained that you don’t need to make a big show of asking for pronouns; instead, you can live by the simple question of “What do I need to know to treat you well?” Asking this question, she explains, shows that you care about a person and allows them to tell you what they need from you, including how they want you to address them. On a similar note, Godel explains what you should do if you misgender someone. He explained that there are three steps: the first step is to apologize, the second is to correct yourself, and the third is to move on. She explains that to draw extreme attention to the moment and to make a big deal of it is more for your sake than the person that you misgendered. Mistakes sometimes happen, and we are all still learning. The best thing to do is to apologize, correct, and move on.

Godel also explained a lot of the legal and social struggles trans and non-binary people are currently facing. She explained that there are multiple different forms of transitioning: social, medical, and bureaucratic. Social can be anything from using different pronouns or a different name to a different style of clothing or hair; medical is any time there are hormones or surgery involved. Finally, he explains bureaucratic transition, the legal transition. This is legally changing your name and your gender marker on official documents. Godel explains that a transgender person may not pursue all or any of these types of transitions and that their choice is valid no matter what.

Godel closed the session by de-bunking misunderstandings or myths around gender identity. She explained that singular they is not grammatically incorrect, and has in fact been around for a very long time. Only recently, in the 1940s, did it fall out of common usage. They said that puberty blockers only temporarily put off puberty so that the individual may make the correct decision for them at a later time without having to be forced to go through puberty as a gender that they do not identify with. Finally, she explained that bystander intervention in harassment is important, but you have to understand how to do it correctly. Godel encour- ages people to help the victim and get them away from the situation instead of engaging with the person harassing them – this is safer for you and the person being harassed. I think the session was wonderful and I hope we get more sessions like it in the future.