*Disclaimer: This article was published in The Goofly, a satire edition of The Grizzly.
Last Friday, Ursinus College officially announced that it will be receiving a grant of $5 million from the NCAA that will be put towards a stable and training ground for the Ursinus Hobby-Horse team.
The announcement comes in light of the NCAA expanding the sport to 20 new D-III schools as a result of hobby-horsing’s increasing popularity.
On the following Saturday the President of the NCAA spoke with the media about the grant.
“We are excited to begin this project with Ursinus College as part of our continued commitment to expanding hobby-horsing within the NCAA, and building on the sport’s early success,” the president said.
The sport has received a lot of attention since its introduction this year, with many making fun of the sport’s unusual nature. But regardless of people’s motives for watching, the sport has garnered tremendous viewership and attendance numbers, motivating the NCAA to invest more in it.
As of now, official plans for the construction have not yet been announced. However the grant given by the NCAA is said to include both a “stable” and “renovated training grounds” according to the agreement. Currently, there is on-going speculation that both the stable and training area will reside next to Ursinus’s newly constructed hobby-horse arenas. This has not been confirmed.
Several of the hobby-horse athletes have expressed their excitement towards the agreement, including team captains Bernard Capp ’26 and Gilda Brown ’26, both of whom have helped Ursinus dominate the North American Hobby-Horse Series this fall.
“I can’t wait to see the new facility when it’s finished,” said Brown. “The whole team is really excited about the new renovations, I think it will help us take our game to the next level.”
Despite the excitement of the athletes, the enthusiasm is not exactly shared by their fellow peers.
“Why do we need a five million dollar stable?,” said one student. “They don’t even use real horses, like just find an empty closet or something.”
“I was actually pretty excited when I heard Ursinus was going to be building a stable,” another Ursinus student commented. “I kind of just figured that would include real horses but I guess that’s my fault for assuming.”
Aside from criticisms about the logistics of building a stable, students have expressed concerns about the finances of the project, especially since the announcement comes after the extensive locker room renovations for the football team. However, Ursinus board members ensured the community that the project would be fully covered by the NCAA’s grant and are standing by their decision to go forward with the project.
“The Ursinus Hobby-Horse team has helped put this school on the map, and we are honored to have been selected for this grant by the NCAA,” said an Ursinus board member. “We believe that hobby-horse is the future of the Ursinus Athletic program, and we want to provide our athletes with a facility where they can enhance their training and compete at the highest level.”
While many are still left shaking their heads at the school’s decision, Ursinus will continue to